Part 3 – Trusting God When You Don’t Know What Comes Next
Introduction
There are seasons in life where everything changes overnight. For me, that season began with living with a tracheostomy after being diagnosed with idiopathic subglottic stenosis. One moment, I was trying to push through workouts and everyday life, wondering why my breathing felt off. The next, I was waking up with a trach and stepping into a reality I never expected—one that would challenge me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
A New Reality I Never Expected
Just days before, I was trying to push through workouts, wondering why my breathing felt off.
Now… I was breathing through a trach.
It was something I had never heard of before.
Something I never imagined would be part of my story.
And if I’m being honest—it was overwhelming.
The Weight of the Unknown
I didn’t know what my future looked like.
I questioned everything about my future, wondering if this would be permanent and whether I would ever breathe normally again or truly feel like myself.
On the outside, I tried to stay strong.
But on the inside… there were days I broke.
Days where I cried for hours.
Days where the unknown felt heavier than anything I had ever carried before.
Faith and Fear Coexisting
There’s a misconception that faith means you won’t feel fear.
But what I learned during this season is this:
Faith and fear can exist at the same time.
I had moments of peace.
Moments where I knew God was with me.
But I also had moments of fear.
Moments where I questioned what was ahead.
And yet—even in the middle of both—I kept coming back to God.
When All You Can Do Is Surrender
There came a point where I realized I didn’t have control.
I couldn’t fix what was happening, predict the outcome, or rush the process no matter how badly I wanted to.
All I could do… was surrender.
And surrender doesn’t always look like strength.
Sometimes it looks like tears.
Sometimes it looks like whispering through the pain:
“God, I don’t understand… but I trust You.”
Scripture Reflection
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
God didn’t ask me to carry this alone.
He invited me to give it to Him—again and again.
Finding Peace in Small Moments
Even in the hardest days, there were moments of peace.
Moments where I felt comforted.
Moments where I felt held.
Not because my situation had changed…
But because God was present in it.
What This Season Taught Me
Living with a trach taught me more than I ever expected.
It taught me:
- How to slow down
- How to let go of control
- How to lean on God in a deeper way
It stripped away the illusion that I could do everything on my own.
And replaced it with something stronger:
Dependence on God.
Devotional Thought
If you are in a season of unknowns…
Where the future feels unclear and the answers aren’t there yet…
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to keep showing up—and trusting God one day at a time.
Prayer
Lord,
In the middle of the unknown, help me trust You.
When fear rises, remind me that You are still in control.
Give me peace that goes beyond understanding, even when my circumstances don’t change.
Amen.
