A Proverbs Wife: Standing by Your Man With Faith, Wisdom, and Enduring Love By Miriam Rees
“Stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to.” — Tammy Wynette
Let’s be honest for a moment: standing by your husband—especially when you don’t fully understand his decisions or believe he’s made a mistake—is one of the hardest things a wife will ever be asked to do. It doesn’t always feel fair, easy, or natural. Yet, when love, faith, and commitment are present, support becomes a daily choice rather than an emotional reaction.
I am now going on 29 years of marriage to the love of my life. Those years have not been perfect—far from it—but they have been refining, stretching, and deeply meaningful. Marriage has taught me what real love looks like when it’s rooted in commitment, humility, and trust in God rather than circumstances.
Why Do So Many Marriages Struggle Today?
In today’s world, marriages don’t seem to last very long. Compromise has become rare. Patience is thin. Many people want things their way, and when marriage becomes difficult, quitting feels easier than fighting. But Scripture reminds us that perseverance matters.
1 Corinthians 7:16 speaks to the unseen work God can do through faithfulness. We may not always understand the purpose of the struggle, but God often uses it to shape hearts—ours included.
I do believe there are situations where divorce is necessary. Some marriages should not continue. However, not every struggling marriage is broken beyond repair. Many are simply walking through hard seasons, not hopeless ones.
God’s Design for Marriage
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5
Marriage, family, and life were never meant to be perfect. If they were, we would have no need to rely on God. Growth happens when we surrender our understanding and choose obedience—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Scripture also reminds husbands and wives of their God-given roles:
“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives… She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” — 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
Lessons From Nearly Three Decades of Marriage
The first five years of my marriage were incredibly difficult—more than I could have imagined at the time. What carried me through was God, my children, love, determination, and a deep desire to make my marriage work. Ultimately, it came down to one question: How badly did I want it?
From my experience, three things make a marriage last:
Trust. Honesty. Commitment.
Without these, love struggles to survive. Love often grows because trust, honesty, and commitment are present—not because feelings are perfect.
Early on, I struggled with trust—not just in my husband, but in myself and my ability to be the wife my family needed. God patiently worked through those areas, teaching me reliance on Him rather than fear.
“Standing behind her man, even when he’s wrong—the true, pure, undying love of a woman.” — Travis Tritt
What It Means to Be a Proverbs Wife
A Proverbs wife is not perfect—but she is intentional.
“The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” — Proverbs 31:11
“She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
“She is clothed with strength and dignity.” — Proverbs 31:25
Supporting your husband does not mean excusing poor choices or ignoring wisdom. It means addressing issues privately, respectfully, and with grace. When something goes wrong, ask why—not publicly, not with criticism, but in the safety of your home. Public correction wounds pride and damages trust.
Most men want to believe they are doing what’s best for their family. When they feel like failures, it cuts deeply. A Proverbs wife understands this and responds with wisdom rather than embarrassment.
If your husband is wrong, he may never openly admit it—but he knows. And just like us, he doesn’t want his faults continually thrown in his face.
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life.” — Proverbs 13:3
Learn, grow, forgive, and move forward together.
When You Feel Like Giving Up
There were seasons when I didn’t feel an overwhelming desire to keep fighting. I understand how easy it is to want to quit. But anything worth having—and worth keeping—is worth fighting for.
There were times I had no answers left, so I let go and let God. Sometimes that surrender still happens daily. Marriage isn’t always easy, but obedience invites God into places we cannot fix ourselves.
Practical Steps to Becoming a Proverbs Wife
- Read Proverbs consistently. “For wisdom will enter your heart.” — Proverbs 2:10
- Apply what you learn. God’s Word changes your mindset and reactions when lived out.
- Focus on your role, not his response. “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” — Proverbs 16:3
- Forgive and release past mistakes.
God forgave us through Christ (John 3:16); we are called to extend that same grace. - Choose love daily. “Love covers all offenses.” — Proverbs 10:12
Some men struggle to express affection or romance. That doesn’t mean love isn’t present—it simply looks different.
Final Encouragement
Life is hard. Marriage is hard. But how you respond to hard seasons determines the direction of your life.
“A wise woman builds her house.” — Proverbs 14:1
Happy or miserable—you choose. When you choose faith, forgiveness, wisdom, and commitment, you allow God to do what only He can do.
Be a Proverbs wife. Stand firm. Trust God. And never underestimate the power of obedience rooted in love.
