By Miriam Rees
Introduction
Losing my mom changed me in ways I don’t think I fully understood at first.
People often describe grief as sadness, and it certainly is, but grief is also disorienting, heavy, quiet, and deeply strange in ways words rarely capture. It changes the way you experience everyday life because after losing someone so deeply connected to your heart, the world somehow keeps moving while a part of you feels like it stopped.
And somehow, you’re still expected to keep functioning normally in a life that no longer feels the same.
The Strange Emptiness of Losing a Parent
There’s something difficult to explain about losing your mom as an adult. You’re grown, you understand that loss is part of life, and yet nothing truly prepares your heart for it emotionally.
It’s the realization that the person who knew you from the very beginning is suddenly no longer here physically. The person you wanted to call, tell things to, or hear comfort from is gone, and that kind of emptiness is hard to describe unless you’ve lived it yourself.
Sometimes grief appears in unexpected ways:
- random memories
- songs
- holidays
- ordinary moments where you instinctively reach for your phone before remembering
Those small moments often hurt the most.
Grief Changes You
One of the biggest things I’ve learned is this:
Grief changes you in lasting ways.
There is a version of me before losing my mom, and a version of me after. Honestly, I think part of healing is accepting that you don’t fully go back to who you were before loss because grief reshapes the heart.
It softens some things, deepens others, and reminds you how fragile life really is.
Grief Affects More Than Emotions
I don’t think people fully realize how much grief affects the body—not just emotionally, but physically too.
Grief can leave you exhausted. It can affect your sleep, hormones, concentration, motivation, and even your health. There were moments where I felt emotionally drained in ways I couldn’t fully explain, and everything simply felt heavier.
I think that’s something many grieving people quietly carry: the pressure to continue functioning while internally feeling shattered.
How Grief Affected My Faith
If I’m honest, grief deepened my faith, but it also stretched it.
There were moments where I felt incredibly close to God and other moments where I wrestled emotionally with the pain of loss. When someone you love deeply is gone, faith suddenly becomes far more personal. Heaven feels more personal. Eternity feels more personal.
You stop reading verses about eternal life as abstract ideas and start holding onto them with your whole heart.
Heaven Feels Different to Me Now
Before losing my mom, heaven was something I believed in.
After losing her, heaven became something I longed for differently—not out of despair, but out of love. There is now someone I deeply miss there, someone I hope to see again, and I think that changes the way you think about eternity.
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” — Revelation 21:4
That verse means more to me now than it ever did before because grief gives you a deeper understanding of what we were truly created for: a world without loss.
Grief Affects Marriage Too
One thing people don’t talk about enough is how grief impacts relationships.
When you’re grieving, emotions become heavier, patience becomes thinner, and exhaustion increases. Sometimes you withdraw emotionally without even realizing it, and sometimes your spouse wants to help but doesn’t fully know how.
Grief can create loneliness, even when you’re surrounded by people who love you.
But I’ve also learned something beautiful: hard seasons reveal who is willing to sit beside you in the pain instead of trying to rush you out of it.
The Little Things Hurt the Most
Honestly, sometimes it’s not the biggest moments that hurt the most.
It’s wanting to share something with her. Hearing a song she would’ve loved. Seeing something in a store she would’ve bought. Realizing she missed another milestone.
Grief lives in ordinary moments, and those moments often catch you when you least expect it.
God Stayed Close in the Grief
Even in the hardest moments, I never truly felt abandoned by God.
I felt broken and deeply heartbroken, but never abandoned.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
I’ve learned that God doesn’t always remove grief immediately. Sometimes He simply sits with us in it, and honestly, that presence is often what carries us through.
What Losing My Mom Taught Me
Losing my mom reminded me how fragile life truly is and how much more people, love, and connection matter than perfection or productivity.
It also taught me not to take ordinary moments for granted:
- conversations
- laughter
- hugs
- the people sitting around your table
Because one day, those ordinary moments become precious memories.
Devotional Thought
If you are grieving someone you love right now, I want you to know this:
There is no “correct” timeline for grief.
Healing is not forgetting. Moving forward is not betrayal, and missing someone years later does not mean you’re failing to heal.
Love leaves fingerprints on the soul, and grief is often evidence of how deeply we loved.
Prayer
Lord,
Thank You for the people You place in our lives to love deeply.
In moments where grief feels heavy, bring comfort to hurting hearts and remind us that You are close to the brokenhearted. Help us hold onto hope, even in the middle of missing someone we love.
Amen.
